Thursday, October 23, 2008
Temptations to respond contentiously to some posts
In reading some blogs, I'm often tempted to respond contentiously, in posts in my own blog. I want to learn not to do that. I want to practice reading those posts to learn from people and to encourage and support them in whatever good I can see them doing. I want to learn to turn my contentious impulses in other directions, which I will discuss some time in relation to responding to campaigns against the House of Justice, and responding to defects in the Baha'i community.
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4 comments:
Sorry. That previous post was supposed to go under the latest post.
At least here, let me ask: Why do you feel the urge to respond contentiously? What do you feel you get out of doing so?
Some people respond contentiously because they see an injustice being perpetuated through words (and this does happen a lot). Others respond because they just like to fight. And still others just because they'd had a bad day. What do they get out of it? Who knows? Maybe it makes them feel smart. Maybe it makes them feel heroic. Maybe it makes them feel vindicated.
IMO, contentiousness is not automatically a bad thing - especially in situations where it seems to be the only style a person understands (and I hate that because I'd rather talk to people rather than at them). But, perhaps if you could understand where the contentiousness comes from you can better judge when and when not to use it.
Thank you very much for those questions and ideas. That's very helpful. It may take a few days, or even a week, for me to respond. We're in the middle of moving to another apartment, Patty and danio are changing jobs, and danio is leaving Saturday for Korla where Lillian is with her parents. He'll be there for a week, then she and he and their daughter Aeryn will all be coming back here.
"Why do you feel the urge to respond contentiously? What do you feel you get out of doing so?"
Recently it was when I saw a friend of mine posting something that looked misleading to me, and I imagined some people being fooled by it. The urge to respond contentiously might have come from the feeling that some of the distortion was intentional.
I don't feel that I get anything out of it. As far as I can see, it's an impulse that I don't need to indulge at all.
I might agree with you that contentiousness is not always a bad thing. What I want to resist more specifically is temptations to respond with acrimony and reflections on a person's character.
One way I see to use those feelings is to help reinforce my devotion to my work for peace and justice.
Jim,
That puts things in a different perspective, then.
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